Daybreak

*    Unexplained or frequent injuries
*    Wearing jeans, long pants or long sleeves consistently — even in warm or hot weather —
*   Exhibiting the want for isolation or “being alone”

*   The presence of blood stains on the inside of clothing

Feelings You May Have

*   Shock and Denial
*   Anger and Frustration
*   Empathy, Sympathy, and Sadness
*    Guilt

What Can You Do?

* Do Talk About SI…Within Reason But don’t keep asking questions if the self-injurer does not wish to talk about their self-injury. This is intrusive and unwelcome and may cause even further alienation, make them feel even more alone and isolated. judgmental. Until then, don’t pressure them.
* Do Be Supportive
* Do Be Available- Within Limits
* Don’t Discourage
* Do Recognize and Validate the Severity of the Person’s Distress
* Do Get Help With Your Own Reactions
* Don’t take it personally.
* Educate yourself.
* Understand your feelings.
* Be supportive without reinforcing the behavior.

Good Ways of Showing Support

* Don’t avoid the subject of self-injury.
* Make the initial approach. “I know that sometimes you hurt yourself and I’d like to understand it.”
* Be available.
* Set reasonable limits. “I cannot handle talking to you while you are actually cutting yourself because I care about you greatly and it hurts too much to see you doing that”
* Make it clear from your behavior that the person doesn’t need to self-injure in order to get displays of love and caring from you.
* Provide distractions if necessary. Sometimes just being distracted (taken to a movie, on a walk, out for ice cream; talked to about things that have nothing to do with self-injury) can work wonders.
* If you live apart from the person you’re concerned about, offer physical safe space: “I’m worried about you; would you come sleep over at my house tonight?”
* Don’t ask “Is there anything I can do?” Find things that you can do and ask “Can I ?”

REMEMBER

*   Ultimatums do NOT work. Ever.
*   Punishments just feed the cycle of self-hatred and unpleasantness that leads to Self-injury.
*   Accept your limitations.
*   Acknowledge the pain of your loved one.
*   Don’t force things.

Here are some avenues for further information and help:

1-800-DON’T-CUT (800-366-8288)

Websites:

SAFE Alternatives Program (http://www NULL.selfinjury NULL.com/)

Self-Injury.net (http://www NULL.self-injury NULL.net/)

Self-Injury: You are not the only one (http://www NULL.palace NULL.net/%7Ellama/psych/injury NULL.html)

A Cut Above -The Practice of Self-Mutilation (http://www NULL.teenagerstoday NULL.com/resources/articles/mutilate NULL.htm)

The Practice of Self-Injury (http://apps NULL.cignabehavioral NULL.com/web/basicsite/bulletinBoard/selfInjury NULL.jsp)